Things are lovely…repeat as necessary.

writing my heart out about living from our hearts

That First Death-Defying Step Through Chaos

with 2 comments

The thing that holds me up the most is that I so often feel that everything has to be perfect before I’ll be brave enough to make a move.  Of course I never get anywhere because things are never perfect anywhere.  Why so obsessed with perfect?  Really?  Look around.  How many tv ads show a panicked defenseless homemaker miraculously saved from chaos by the “perfect product,” “perfect kitchen,” “perfect hair.”  I hate it.  I mean it seriously pisses me off because you buy into it so easily.  I did.  Guess what, perfect never happens.

I admire so much the people I know you can stand in the center of uncertainty and function.  It is my goal.  It’s the reason I write this.  Because I have to believe that if I just write this, if I move out from my heart, it is a step toward something.  It is also a step away from something, denial.  If I step forward no matter what, I have to admit there’s something solid among the rubble at my feet.  If I put myself out there where someone can smack me down, I have to there is something to me worth smacking.  If there’s something about me worth silencing, it is definitely something worth shouting to anyone who will hear.

Today is a super day for moving forward, for ducking the fears in front of me for simply speaking my mind and pressing “publish.”   Maybe you are reading because you are among my friends or family.  Maybe you haven’t any idea who I am and if you are reading – wow.  Thank you all and any who show up here with me every day.  I’m glad you are coming along.  I have no idea where we are going.


Written by Shannon Udell

July 23, 2010 at 5:00 am

Posted in Uncategorized

2 Responses

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  1. Although you are the one making this journey, you are not alone. There are a lot of us here with you offering love, prayers and support. Wherever this takes you – we’re here, too.


    July 23, 2010 at 6:52 am

  2. I want to affirm that that’s true for anyone out there. That first step can be merciless, but doable with a little love, whether from yourself or others. Thanks.

    Shannon Udell

    July 23, 2010 at 8:46 am

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