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writing my heart out about living from our hearts

Change is the Alien in My Body

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It does no good to hide from change because it will always find you, trust me.  I used to work so hard to maintain the status quo in my life.  My days were spent smoothing over surfaces and nervously tugging at the corners of my tiny world so nothing would pop up and challenge my right to exist there.  ‘Cept guess what happened?  Everything changed and change is all there is for me now.  I deal, right?

Life changes these days run the gamut from where I live to how I live to what I eat.  You’ve seen my digs, I’ll be the leading expert on simple living soon enough!  My days are slow and filled with reading, writing, job searches and crying jags.  How I eat is a new world I get to explore everyday.

My body is only as strong as the shock and stress it is enduring leaves it.  That shock and stress are altering my body.  What I’m finding in the process isn’t all terrible, but it’s time for me to regain control.

Since the shock of being separated from my husband, daughters, friends, I find myself really craving peaceful, quiet spaces.  Gentleness, and did I mention space?  My body and spirit feel fragile and I recoil from things and people with rough edges.  I want to shut them out.  I say “fragile,” but I also sense a resilience that wants to heal conflict as soon as it arises.

The stress of packing and moving and leaving and changing set off something inside me as well.  My appetite is shrinking and I feel filled by smaller amounts.  I eat less but crave more nutrient dense foods and then feel completely nourished by them.  One thing I’m discovering is that meat is just not my friend anymore.  This is very sad, because I know some magical grill-masters.  All my body wants right now is grains, fruit, sprouts, and greens, greens, greens.  Um, and coffee.

So, I’m eating super healthy.  I seem to have the energy and clarity I need for a full day.  It just seems I’ll need to approach my days as a salad-crunching peacenik.  Yay, me.

Maybe this is my lesson. Life is going to demand change, but life will provide me with the tools I need to navigate the change.  Life keeps me sensitive and aware and noticing how I respond to the world.  Life pares down my diet to keep my body performing well under the weight of change.

I can’t stop change from coming, and I guess I really don’t want to, but I can take what change is offering to help me through is and gracefully use these gifts to make the most out of it.

If you have any takes on dealing with change, willingly or not, I’d love to hear about them in the comments!

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Written by Shannon Udell

July 20, 2010 at 5:00 am

Posted in Uncategorized

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