Things are lovely…repeat as necessary.

writing my heart out about living from our hearts

10 Reasons Why Connecting is an Antidote to Separation

with 3 comments

Separation very quickly leads to isolation.  In separation you just don’t know where you stand.  If you have done the leaving, by choice or not, you are often in a new place by yourself and too shell-shocked to reach out.  If you remain in your same place, you might feel you can’t relate to things that were once familiar.  It seems easier to retreat into yourself rather than rehash your story over and over again.  The more distance you put between yourself and others, the more you can just be left alone with your crying and your pleading to thin air to just make it go away.  (I can’t imagine it’s just me!)

This blog is about connection about coming clean about the aftermath of separation.  I will be honest again and say I’d love this to be a very short experiment.  I would love to be working out these kinks at home, not 100 miles away, but we play the hands we are dealt.  So I will be here, telling it like it is because I hope communication and connection are the way to healing myself, and that is all I can work on right now.

5 Reasons Separation Sucks

  • Painful and frightening – you want to run from all the hurt.
  • Embarrassing and confusing – don’t want to face people .
  • Destructive and divisive – families and friendships might feel they must choose.
  • Financial and emotional – more costs at a time when you are feeling on the edge.
  • Relentless and pervasive – you don’t get a break from the reality of being alone.

5 Reasons Connecting Rocks

  • Soothing and calming – your fears and tends your wounds seem easier to bear.
  • Clear and present – you feel supported and stronger because of it.
  • Uniting and joining – Others that you are open to community.
  • Healing and helping – A friend to talk to is a blessing now when you really need it.
  • Reliable and constant – A strong friendship keeps you grounded long after the separation is resolved

Who is your life-line right now?  Remembering and honoring good friends when things are going well can be an instant help when you are in need.  I know I am so glad I have my friends with me (in spirit, even though I am away from them.)  Knowing they are there lifts me to where I need to be everyday.  (Thank you ALL!)


Written by Shannon Udell

July 6, 2010 at 2:09 pm

Posted in Uncategorized

3 Responses

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  1. Huge hugs to you Sweetie. You are always in my thoughts.


    July 6, 2010 at 3:15 pm

  2. Shannie – all you left was a place. You can never leave your children, they are part of you and you are part of them. They understand that your leaving was out of love, and the choices we make out of love are often the hardest.


    July 6, 2010 at 4:51 pm

    • Thanks, I think I’m finally getting that. I even removed the “mommy who left” part from my blurb up top. It’s a shock to not have the entre I once had to their every day living and to have to say good night via text message. I’m learning to trust the process. (But I don’t have to like it.)

      Shannon Udell

      July 6, 2010 at 4:58 pm

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