Things are lovely…repeat as necessary.

writing my heart out about living from our hearts

Surreal. Life.

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Shopping for a home I feel like a guest in.

Moving my things into an apartment I’ll never live in.

Getting along better than ever with a guy I don’t get to live with.

Looking forward to a break I’d give up in a heart beat.

Time is such a hornets nest for me right now.

I ship out on July 2nd.  That’s less than two weeks away.  There is excitement around the new apartment and it will be good to be done packing and to be over this last work week, but once there I’ll be clawing to get back this time.

I have to be present.  I have to live this now.  Once the family is moved and once my car is loaded, that is it.  We clean the house and turn in the keys and poof.  I’ll be sleeping with a whole lot of memories.  It’s like inviting someone to carve out my guts while I sit here smiling.

The only way I keep it together is by focusing on what we are all moving toward: strength, wholeness, a real future.  We are building something, Scott and I.  We just have to be on different sites.

Speaking of different sites, once I am on the road on the 2nd, this becomes a real separation.  I’ll be trying to keep an open account of it on a page I’ll call Maybe a Year.  More on that to come.  Today I’ll be smiling for eight hours straight until that whistle blows.


Written by Shannon Udell

June 22, 2010 at 5:53 am

Posted in living

Tagged with , , , ,

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